Truth is ladies, this hurts, usually this guy acts like you're the closest thing to him to a girlfriend but for some reason won't cross that line with you even though he knows you like him back. I think these guys wanna have their cake and eat it too... they wanna know someone is their for them at all times in case his main chick fails.Take for example my friend Cherry... she'd been into this guy we'll call "Mich" for over 2 years, he called her his "best friend" they did everything a couple would do, except he'd date other girls and come and confide in Cherry about his love woes...anyway about 2 months ago she decides to move on and get a man of her own, and lo and behold he comes out and says he wanted to be with her all along!!!
Can somebody answer me why men do this? Its not fair for a guy to make a girl feel like they've got a bond he doesn't share with any other girl, that he can tell her anything and confide in her, sort of making her feel special but at the same time if you were that special he'd have YOU BE HIS No.1 not his 2nd choice... And like J said... lets just say for whatever reason he does decide to finally ask you to be his lady, he won't ever respect you like he has his other girls because you've been the doormat, the one who's put up with it all his shit and who'll probably be there no matter what he decides to do in the future.
So back to Cherry's situation... Mich wants to come back around confessing his feelings... why? because he lost her and didn't do what was necessary to keep her around. Sorry buddy too little too late.
Another friend who shall remain anonymous had been 2nd best to a guy since grade school, now being 23 she came to realize if he's still not ready to man up and be with her its not worth holding on, its a waste of time and invested feelings.Her situation was worse because she'd shared everything from her 1st kiss to every part of her life and being with this guy, yet he insisted on having his serious girlfriends and keeping her on the side, to confide in, to secretly LOVE, and ultimately it became too much for her to handle. If he said he loved her and they've shared so much together already it would have been so easy to have a wonderful relationship but its like Lauryn Hill sang " IT COULD ALL BE SO SIMPLE BUT YOU'D RATHER MAKE IT HARD, LOVING YOU IS LIKE A BATTLE AND WE BOTH END UP WITH SCARS, TELL ME WHO I HAVE TO BE TO GET SOME RECIPROCITY..."
A lot of us girls feel special being there for a guy like this... there are girls that say "he always comes back to me" "he might be with her but he's thinking about me" guess what... that may be true but he's coming to you AFTER he's already been with her... so technically you weren't good enough to be his main chick.
This happens in other ways too, like this friend I went out with... her and her bf recently broke up, he treated her like shit and didn't appreciate her, well now that she starts dating again he comes around begging and crying he wants her back... why do guys wait for girls to be taken to come back around???? He had her, couldn't keep her cuz of his scheming ways and when a good dude comes along he comes back to mess it up.
My other friend who we'll call Lisa, has been into a guy who's married... he's got a picture perfect family, yet he makes Lisa feel like he's so into her and makes her feel special. She might feel like wow... he's got a wife but wants to be with me! its exciting and fun to be desired by someone who's taken, but looking at it a different way its actually quite sad... that man can never be yours, he has his wife first, why invest feelings and time on someone who's not willing to give that back to you...
sigh* I wish Tom Leykis was still on so I could ask him this question, one may never fully get the complicated male psyche.
Luckily for me I am able to look at these situations from the outside in and realize I've got something many girls want. I wake up every morning to a sweet text from my bf even after 6+ years together, Im no.1 in his book without a doubt... he only wants to spend time with ME and as I start putting things into perspective I wouldn't settle for any less.
Update: and just to prove my point ladies 5 min after I finished blogging this I went down to my car and found roses from my boyfriend in there, just because he wanted to do that for me, so thats my point if a guy really wants to be with you don't nag him, beg him, bug him about these things, if he wanted to do it he definitely would.
